Serve by Design

Did you hear about the little boy who comforted his mother? She was having an emotional day as her twin boys headed off for their first day of school. Their four-year-old brother, Andrew, along with the mother, had walked them from the house to the corner where the bus would stop. When it arrived, the twins jumped up the steps into the bus and waved goodbye through the window. It was then that the mom broke out in tears! The younger brother comforted her with these words, “Mommy, don’t cry! Maybe one day you’ll get to ride the bus, too!” 😊 This funny story caught my attention for two reasons. One is that we have twin daughters, and the other reason is because of the subject of tears. I can remember what it was like to send those little red-haired charmers off to their first day of school. I couldn’t fight back my tears while they charged off hand in hand down the sidewalk and into Houston’s Ed White Elementary! They were ready for kindergarten, but I was not ready to let them go! Te...

We recently celebrated what would have been the ninth birthday of our beloved granddaughter, Kayley Janelle. She was only given to her family for a fleeting time of about sixty days before a severe heart defect and catastrophic stroke prematurely shut down her precious little life. Every time we visit the cemetery we are painfully reminded of how we would have loved on and delighted in her! Kayley's Ninth Birthday! On this occasion, we brought a special dessert drink with whipped topping from the local coffee shop. It was our way of commemorating in a tangible way just how much we miss those everyday opportunities to spoil Kayley! There would have been special “date times” to eat at her favorite soup and sandwich shops and chat about her school and social activities. At this season, we would have loved to hear her screams of delight when she opened her gifts, large and small, along with the entire family! Life has a way of changing things! Our hopes and longings can be dashed to pi...

I recently received a sympathy card with a meaningful note on the side page. It has had me thinking since I read it. Among other comforting words written, there was an especially touching sentence that simply said, “It’s difficult to speak to a pastor about the loss of their loved one, but the loss is still the same.” Those phrases “difficult to speak to a pastor” and “the loss is still the same” are still swirling around in my mind. I was so appreciative of these sentiments that I immediately called these friends. I wanted to express my thanks to them for taking the time to write those candid and hope-filled thoughts down for my comfort. Comfort One Another Credit: clipart-library.com After decades of service as a pastor in a half dozen churches from Texas to Illinois, I have often wondered how pastors sometimes make it difficult for their members to share comfort with them. Without intending to do this, I think we can build barriers by saying, “We’re doing okay. We have a lot of supp...

Our family has been stressed coming and going these days since grandpa (my dad) has been in hospice at his nearby community hospital. His health has been failing since his 94 th birthday back in early December. It has become serious enough that our grown kids and their families decided to come in to see, be with, and encourage dad. They were determined to sit and share their affection with him while he was still aware and conversant. Klay, Eloise, Karter, and Danny Marc said, "I had to sit a different table. Too rough of a crowd for me!" 😏 The kids came from near and far. Our Texas son drove twelve straight hours and the New Mexico family purchased airfare that same day to fly in as well. Everyone gathered around dad on two occasions, and it was special to see the outpouring of their devotion. They had accumulated so many cherished memories over the years. Even though it was an exhausting trip for them, the kids and grands just couldn’t pass up what might be their last oppo...

Many in our area have been recovering from storms that raged through numerous communities last week. Straight-line and even tornadic winds unleashed destruction with a force ranging from 80-120 mph. This powerful act of nature yanked down soft silver maple tree branches upon houses and properties as it severed power poles at their bases like they were toothpicks. The damage was random, but extensive. Many homes lost power for hours, days and now, over a week! We fared much better than many. Our power was only off for a few hours. We lost two large twelve to fifteen-foot limbs. One came resting upon our six-foot fence and the other sailed right for our picnic table denting the tabletop and shoving it into the side of the garage. There was only minimal damage to the table support, a nearby downspout, and the westside soffit. We were lucky. Some of our neighbors reported that large branches had penetrated their roofs like a spear! I have some mature trees that shed numerous branches thr...

Prized and greatly anticipated even before her birth! Kayley Janelle was the third of our four granddaughters! While we love each of our eight grandsons, I often remarked, “Girls arrive for a premium in our family!” It was my way of celebrating each time God gave us the rare opportunity to have another beautiful granddaughter. Mimi revels in the idea of girly outfits, an assortment of baby dolls, and female shopping sprees! As Kayley's Poppi, I was also thinking about the many ways I would spoil this new little person of the “gentler gender!” Kayley, Poppi and Mimi Kayley's two brothers were so excited to welcome a sister into their lives. The anticipation grew each day during the nine months of waiting for her to arrive. They would talk about her among themselves, with family and friends. You could hear them say, “Hey! Mom’s going to have a baby! It’s a girl and her name is Kayley!” They loved the idea of having a sister! The day finally arrived on November 24, 2015. Phone c...

On July 1, 2018, I retired from active pastoral ministry. For 48 years, I was privileged to serve as a pastor or staff associate in eight different congregations in both Illinois and Texas. In these last years, I continue on occasion to officiate weddings and funerals for family and friends. I think part of the reason I am still called upon to serve in these ways is that I have considerable "history" under my "ministerial belt!" That is to say, I know the personal stories of family and friends. This enables me to bring a more intimate and familiar dimension to these kinds of services. Image credit: depositphotos.com During the last few months, I have conducted three funerals. Each of these services have had similar elements in them that enable family and friends to honor their loved one, process their grief and loss, and bring a witness to others of the realities of God's comfort and His promise of an afterlife.  After all these years, I have had many experience...

Many stories have been told about the importance of relational connecting during the Pandemic days of social distancing and isolation. However, there are other levels of connecting that link us to each other. Symbols can also be a tangible way we connect with the memory of loved ones and friends. Recently, our daughter, Michelle, wanted to "connect with her grandmother" by making a blackberry cobbler from her grandma's recipe book. Since my mother passed away nearly three years ago, Chel sought the help of some beloved family members in obtaining a copy of the cobbler recipe. Image credit: sarabakesgfree.com Calls were made to aunts about this need, but there was some misunderstanding. We think now that the request was not all that clear after analyzing the suggestions that were offered, "Can't you just buy the box of tapioca and follow the directions? Why don't you come and visit soon? You can watch me make one!" Even grandpa tried to get in on the acti...

Seeking relief from a steady diet of news programing in the last months, Monique and I have been watching Public Television for the past several weeks on Sunday evening. We have been captivated by Masterpiece Theatre's series, All Creatures Great and Small , based upon the novels of James Herriot. These are about the adventures of Herriot (pen name for James Alfred Wight), a Yorkshire veterinarian who is practicing his craft in rural England during the 1930's. This series is pure, softly-paced, beautifully set and thoroughly entertaining. Galloping Stallion goodfreephotos.com Samuel West, who plays Siegfried Farnon, Herriot's boss and mentor, commented in a recent podcast interview about an especially touching episode in which James has to put down a beautiful race horse. The animal is in great pain because of an inoperable bowel constriction. Others attending the horse are openly reluctant to take such extreme measures because the animal is prized and has great financial v...

During a recent sermon on grief, our pastor mentioned something that I have been thinking about lately. He said, "Many of us grieve over an accumulation of losses in our lives." This past year, Monique and I have lost several of our Texas friends. Another precious one passed a couple of weeks ago. This is number four by my count. Each of these friends has left an indelible influence on our lives. As the pastor observed, I feel like there has been a heavy accumulation of grief and loss in the last couple of years. We knew this was bound to occur. After all, we are getting older, too! But, the frequency of loss over a relatively short duration of time has been surprising.  In my personal reflections, I took to the computer keyboard to make a list of some of the specific losses. At the top, I thought of the loss of my mother who passed two years ago on July 17th. Then, there was the grief over a church conflict in March 2019. Added to this was the diagnosis of prostate cancer in...

We chose to stay back at our residence in La Haye - Pesnel on the 75th anniversary of D-Day on June 6, 2019. We did not want to drive north the hour and a half or so to journey on that day into congested traffic jams, struggle through thousands of visitors, or face the challenges of heightened security for a meeting of two world leaders: President Macron of France, and President Trump of America who came to lead in a globally-viewed program of remembrance. So, ten days later, our little family visited (and for some, re-visited) the Normandy American Cemetery that overlooks Omaha Beach. By this time, the crowds were manageable, the weather was sunny and dry, and our hearts were open to take in what this cemetery represents - grief, gratitude, and a growing resolve that this should never happen again! American Cemetery, Normandy, France I knew that it was going to be a difficult experience for me to handle the immensity of grief that this beautiful cemetery represents. I cry more e...